This is just a metaphor, I have never thought of actually climbing Mount Everest. That would be a challenge. My recovery over the last four years has been challenging and I could look at it as climbing to the peak of a mountain. Four years ago when I woke up from my coma I was at the very bottom and since then I have been slowly climbing and subconsciously I think I was trying to get to the peak, to get to where I was before everything started to go wrong. In the beginning I didn’t realise that there would be a problem and I just plodded along expecting to get back to normal. After some time I think I realised it would be a lot harder than I thought it would be. After year one I was laughed at when I told someone that I wanted to be 100% again. I say laughed at but it was more of a smirk. It was then that I realised that it may not happen. Over the next few years I have been plodding along trying to get to 100% but I think that now I may have reached my limit, especially at work. At that meeting where I got the smirk I was told that I had made an amazing recovery. I always remember a nurse when I was in the hospital that said I had done so well and that I should be proud of myself. Of course at the time I really didn’t understand what he was talking about but later after talking to my family it is pretty amazing. This is where my Mount Everest metaphor appears, I have only thought of this recently. I started off at base camp. I took a deep breath and I went for it. Climbing Everest is hard and recovering from a brain injury also is. You just have to take it slowly. There have been several stages and gradually I have progressed. Each one of course has been harder than the one before. But still I was trying to get to the summit, I thought it was possible. Of course I have had some wonderful sherpas helping me along the way. 😊 Not everyone who sets out to climb Everest succeeds, but they do the best they can. It is hard to admit that you just can’t go any further, to yourself and others. This is where I was a few months ago. I was still climbing but I realised that I got to a point where I just couldn’t go any further. I needed to try without my sherpas but it just wasn’t possible. So I decided to stop and take control of my life again. It was an overnight decision and since I decided it I have felt so happy! I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I need to focus on my progression from where I was and not about where I feel I should be. Just look at the new me and try not to think about the old me and what I used to be able to do. I don’t think I will ever know just how bad I was but I remember that nurse who was proud of me. Perhaps I need to be proud of myself and what I have achieved. I may not have reached the summit, but I made a pretty good attempt at it.
Published by A Recovering Brain
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