August last year

The last few weeks I have been thinking about things that happened to me around this time last year. It is strange as this time last year I was dreading September, the whole month. I was focusing so much on what happened the year before in September, I lost focus and had a mental health breakdown. It is hard to write about this but I do understand that writing about it helps not just me but other people. I don’t think I have written about this before. I was self harming, which to this day don’t really understand why. I guess I need to talk to someone about this but just at the point when I needed to ask someone about this they decided to let go of me. Push me off to the mental health services were are pretty useless. So a year on I really don’t understand what happened and why. It is not really a subject that you can just sit down with someone and talk about. I am seeing my counsellor tomorrow and may try to talk about it then. I guess now that it is August, I am just thinking about last year again. This year it is not September, it is August that I have been dreading. Now that it is here I just need to think positive. My sister says it is stupid to worry about the past as you can’t change it. I can’t change it but I can wish it never happened.

1 Comment

  1. Joanna your strength and bravery to manage to cope with all you’ve been through shine through to be able to post this just shows your strength ,could you have even thought about sharing this before on your blog? I really hope your councillor helped as you wished and I hope this is a path to working through these tough months for you and that they are better than you thought as you move on your journey forward . I think we do need to address the things that are so hard from the past they shape us and hold us back but looking forward is good too and we can see how far we have come. Wishing you all the best x

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