Over last few months I have been trying to piece together the pieces of the puzzle of what exactly happened to me on the night I got my brain injury and the weeks afterwards. As I have said before I think, I have no memory of that night and the month afterwards. People often wonder why I want to have this information as it is not a memory that I need as it was awful. But people just don’t understand. I feel that I am the only person who really understands. It is a part of my life, a very important part that I just don’t remember. I have been warned about finding out the information as once I know I can’t forget it. I understand this but once again I say that only I know how it feels. I do realise that for that month my brain wasn’t working properly and memories just weren’t formed. I know that despite someone telling me, the memory won’t come back as it just isn’t there. Over the last month or so I have been finding out information from family, friends and the paramedics and it has been great. I am finally able to listen to these memories which is helping me to form my own memories of this time. I can imagine what it was like but it seems more real when someone tells me what actually happened. I still need to talk to people but it is a start. It has taken me two years to get to this point and it is hard for me to describe but I feel more positive now about the future. It feels like my life is a puzzle and slowing I am finding the pieces and hopefully in time I will be able to connect them all and move on.

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