Before my current illness I didn’t really talk about my health problems, well I think I didn’t.  But when I think about it now, I have a lot of time to think about it,  over the last 15 years my body has been through it a bit.  I am very used to going under the knife, usually my knee, about ten times if I think about it.  When I had the knee replaced I thought that would be the end of it but as I like to say my body just doesn’t like me.  Previously I just got on with it, I didn’t complain about the pain but I think the last year has just been too much.  I feel a bit useless as I keep failing.  I don’t do anything wrong,  I’ve never done anything wrong but the health issues just keep coming.  Just want to get back to work but feel like this will just mess things up.  Work gives me purpose to my life but if I don’t have work what will I do.  I sent an email to someone today but her reply didn’t really help, I don’t know why I keep trying.  Last session at the recovery college today.  I will miss going there and laughing with all the people there.  Need to get back to work though.

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