Going back to work (again)

Last week I went back to work where I have worked for 18 years. It is a really nice place to work people there have been really supportive. But I have to describe it as really horrible. It is hard for people without a brain injury to really understand and would’t want to wish that on my worst enemy. Anyway despite being horrible it is great to be working again. Earning a bit of money, feeling like a part of society. I know that people will think it is nice to see me there, and it is great to be there but it is horrible. One thing makes it particularly bad but I don’t want to write about it here but people who know me what I am thinking about. I had problems doing one of my tasks and looked up to ask someone for some help. The only person that I could think to ask, the person who is the expert, is me! I can’t ask myself as I don’t know, it was so frustrating. You can’t imagine how horrible it is. I guess I will get used to it and people will say it will come back, give it time. I just want to click a switch in my brain to turn it on again but that is impossible. I say I feel like a new starter but I am not a new starter, I have worked there for 18 years. It’s horrible.