I know this sounds a little morbid and I guess it is. But I was watching a film last week (thank you Mr Pool) and this phrase was said and immediately I understood what they were talking about. I think I have written previously about wanting to do everything now and I think this has come from the realisation that until you face death you can’t appreciate life.  Before I was unwell I don’t think that I was truly living my best life.  I seem to be just scratching the surface, choosing the easy options every time.  I don’t think that I realised that I was doing this.  Of course when you are dead it is too late for you to realise these mistakes.  I suppose mistake is the wrong word but to me it looks like I didn’t really live my life to 100%.  I guess before I was unwell  I was just plodding along not thinking that anything bad could happen.  I wasn’t too old, in good health and then for no reason I faced the worst thing in life.  It has changed me but I think the changes have been good.  My life has changed completely, they do say that a brain injury is life changing and that is definitely true.  In the first year or two I would probably have said that it wasn’t really a good change but now I think I can say that it has been a good change.  People have also said that it has been a good change.  I wasn’t very confident and shy away from doing most things.  I am not sure why this was but all I know now is that this part of me seems to have disappeared.  I know that similar changes have happened to many of the brain injury survivors that I know.  If anyone reads this they may not have the same experience that we have had and it is really hard to explain it as you can see. I don’t wish that anyone would experience what us survivors have been through but it would be so much easier for people to understand.