I know this sounds a little morbid and I guess it is. But I was watching a film last week (thank you Mr Pool) and this phrase was said and immediately I understood what they were talking about. I think I have written previously about wanting to do everything now and I think this has come from the realisation that until you face death you can’t appreciate life. Before I was unwell I don’t think that I was truly living my best life. I seem to be just scratching the surface, choosing the easy options every time. I don’t think that I realised that I was doing this. Of course when you are dead it is too late for you to realise these mistakes. I suppose mistake is the wrong word but to me it looks like I didn’t really live my life to 100%. I guess before I was unwell I was just plodding along not thinking that anything bad could happen. I wasn’t too old, in good health and then for no reason I faced the worst thing in life. It has changed me but I think the changes have been good. My life has changed completely, they do say that a brain injury is life changing and that is definitely true. In the first year or two I would probably have said that it wasn’t really a good change but now I think I can say that it has been a good change. People have also said that it has been a good change. I wasn’t very confident and shy away from doing most things. I am not sure why this was but all I know now is that this part of me seems to have disappeared. I know that similar changes have happened to many of the brain injury survivors that I know. If anyone reads this they may not have the same experience that we have had and it is really hard to explain it as you can see. I don’t wish that anyone would experience what us survivors have been through but it would be so much easier for people to understand.
Published by A Recovering Brain
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