How ill was I?

I guess this is a silly question as I know I was the very ill. But I just don’t really understand it. I think if I did I would appreciate my life now. There is really only one person I can ask about this. I am a bit worried that they will say they don’t want to talk about that time as it was very hard for them. But I think it would probably help them as well. I am a big fan of talking things out! When I see things on the TV, usually drama, I think was that like this for me. It’s stupid, why would someone want to see themselves when they were really ill, when they were at there worst. I guess only I can really know. People take pictures of people when they are in intensive care and I thought this was a horrible thing to do. Why would you want to remind yourself of an awful time? But I would like a picture, or even a memory but it is not there. I only remember when I was ‘well’, but I want to remember when I was ill. It’s silly but I think it will help.