When I realised

I can’t remember if I have written about this before. It is about this time last year when I finally realised two things. The first was how ill I had been. I don’t really remember all the bad things that happened to me, How close to death I was. People will say that is is probably good and it probably is. But the problem with this is that I didn’t really realise that what had happened would change my life forever. I think it was this time last year, nearly a year after it happened the realisation and the understanding of what happened started to sink in. The second thing that I began to realise that my ability to do things wasn’t there anymore. I thought I would recover and be able to do all the same things again and to the same ability. I get a bit angry thinking about this as I feel that everyone must of known that this was how it was going to be and they just didn’t tell me. I am still learning what I can and can’t do. Some one told me that my recovery had been amazing, I was now at 60-70%. I wanted to be at 100% – I was a bit of a perfectionist. Sometimes I look back at a time before I realised. I was more happier then. I didn’t realise that life would not go back to normal. I now have a new normal.