What if that didn’t happen is something that I think all the time. When I was talking to the paramedic last week she told me not to think this. She said that it would just hold me back and not move on. I guess she was probably thinking ‘what if’ she hadn’t attended the call that night, but I have been thinking about events that had occurred before that night. I do wonder if people also think it as well. I used to live on my own but the night that it happened I was staying with my family. What if that didn’t happen. I wonder if I would of realised that I was having a serious medical problem. When you are with someone, you can ask them what they think it may be, should I be worried, should I phone up for medical help? I don’t know if I would of done this if I was on my own. I probably would of just gone to bed, hoping that I would wake up in the morning feeling OK. I had an important meeting to go to in the morning. I missed that. The reason that I was staying with my family that night came about as I was helping out my sister, being a good sister and helping her out. I think that what if I wasn’t such a good sister then….. I probably wouldn’t be writing this now. I can understand that this isn’t a very good way to think, how far could you go back? Lucky for me all the stars aligned and everything worked, maybe the way it was meant to be. I read an interesting thing in the news today about research into a method used to help cardiac arrest survivors. To protect the brain whilst recovering. I have been told that this was done to me. I think to myself, what if this wasn’t done to me, maybe my recovery wouldn’t of been so good. I suppose when I do think what if I just need to think of the good things that have happened and not the bad things that could of happen.

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