This is the most personal thing that I have wanted to write about. I think about it every Saturday night. It doesn’t sound very personal but it is to me. Before I was unwell I used to love to dance in the evening. It sounds a bit strange but at night I used to put my headphones on, turn out the light and danced until I was tired. I think about it now and wonder why I used to do it, I don’t do it now. I think it was a form of stress relief. When I felt a bit stressed or down about something I made time before I went to bed and danced. When you live on your own it is really easy to do this as no one knows. I forgot that I used to do this and I think all the dancing programmes on TV reminded me. I would love to do it again but as I don’t live on my own anymore it is harder to do in ‘secret’. I guess the night I am on my own I will have to make sure that I do it. With the lights turned out I can imagine that I am in my old bedroom, living my old life. I wonder if I do do it again will I not like it? Like a lot of the things I retry now. It is strange to think that I don’t like to do many things that I used to love doing. It is hard to understand. I guess I just won’t know until I try it. Like I said this feels really personal so if you know me, don’t talk to me about it as I will be too embarrassed! But I will try to keep dancing.

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