This is the motto of the place that I work. Some people who read this may recognise it. It was said in a message to staff a few weeks ago and I really liked it as it feels like it is a good thought in these strange times. We are in the clouds but at some point we will see light again. Personally I feel that I can relate this to the journey I have been going on over the last two and a half years. After my arrest and brain injury I have been in the clouds, it was hard to see where to go. It was hard to find a way out. I have been feeling in the last months that finally I am finding my way out and ‘starting’ life again. My family have noticed that I seem to be more motivated to do things. I spent the last few days getting things in the house into some kind of order. When I moved house last year I wasn’t really in the right state of mind to do anything that would make the new house mine. I think that this made me feel really lost. I feel like I lost a sense of myself and just did what I was told to do and plod along. I think I have said before that I feel like I am living a second life now and I need to make the most of it. I think in the last couple of months as my life has changed completely again it has really helped me get out of cloud that I found myself in and I am finally seeing the light. I feel that I have such motivation to do things and I want to finish them. It does worry me a bit that I have come to these thoughts when I am confined to my home, not going to work and meeting anyone. Does this mean that I am happiest on my own. I hope not as although it is sometimes nice to be on your own I have learnt now that being around people and sharing is good as well. I have never really felt so positive about things before and I am a bit worried that it will change again, perhaps when the world opens up again and I have to be more sociable again. Of course now I am aware of these worries and this will help me whenever we go out again. It feels so weird to be so happy about things, surely it can’t last.

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