This is the motto of the place that I work. Some people who read this may recognise it. It was said in a message to staff a few weeks ago and I really liked it as it feels like it is a good thought in these strange times. We are in the clouds but at some point we will see light again. Personally I feel that I can relate this to the journey I have been going on over the last two and a half years. After my arrest and brain injury I have been in the clouds, it was hard to see where to go. It was hard to find a way out. I have been feeling in the last months that finally I am finding my way out and ‘starting’ life again. My family have noticed that I seem to be more motivated to do things. I spent the last few days getting things in the house into some kind of order. When I moved house last year I wasn’t really in the right state of mind to do anything that would make the new house mine. I think that this made me feel really lost. I feel like I lost a sense of myself and just did what I was told to do and plod along. I think I have said before that I feel like I am living a second life now and I need to make the most of it. I think in the last couple of months as my life has changed completely again it has really helped me get out of cloud that I found myself in and I am finally seeing the light. I feel that I have such motivation to do things and I want to finish them. It does worry me a bit that I have come to these thoughts when I am confined to my home, not going to work and meeting anyone. Does this mean that I am happiest on my own. I hope not as although it is sometimes nice to be on your own I have learnt now that being around people and sharing is good as well. I have never really felt so positive about things before and I am a bit worried that it will change again, perhaps when the world opens up again and I have to be more sociable again. Of course now I am aware of these worries and this will help me whenever we go out again. It feels so weird to be so happy about things, surely it can’t last.

One thought on “After clouds, light

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