People have said to me that it is wrong to look back, I should try and look forward. But I feel that looking back will help me understand more of why things happened to me. There is so much for me to understand. Over the last month I have been thinking about how to do this. One thing I found out last month is that 89% of people who have a cardiac arrest do not end up with a brain injury. This sounds like a very high figure to me and I suspect that most do have a minor injury but don’t realise. Anyway, I don’t need to worry about them! I have an urge to now find out why I have one. I have lots of information about brain injury that I have from my brain injury education sessions at Headway. I have also found several articles that can help me understand. But of course these articles are full of medical terms so I will have to start by finding out what these mean. This means lots of reading which of course I don’t like doing. Perhaps I need to make myself a book with all these medical terms in so they are easily accessed. The problem is also that I don’t really know what happened to me and if any of these medical terms relate to the condition I was in. I have been advised the I have the legal right to see my medical records, but this is easier said than done. Of course now it is probably not a good time to ask around about this as the NHS has more important things to deal with. I have also been warned that perhaps finding out this information may be hard to read. I has similar advise when I contacted the paramedics. But of course this advise is coming from ‘lay people’ with no experience of my situation. There is nothing wrong with me trying to understand why one person gets off scot free where others have many problems, like me. Hopefully it will not take me too long to find out.

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